An unapologetic, unabridged recounting of my awkward teenage diaries

Diary

Honestly Dad, be more considerate

Honestly Dad, be more considerate

There’s not really much use explaining carnival season in the south west to anyone outside the region because it’s just so fucking weird it really has to be experienced to be believed. Everyone knows what a carnival is,  but can you envisage a bunch of […]

My first kiss

My first kiss

Throughout life, I’ve really prided myself on my ability to pass the time with countless hobbies that I’m not very good at. So one of the ways I liked to pass the time in the countryside was as a member of Cary Amateur Theatrical Society […]

Forget about the third world, I can’t believe she snogged him!!

Forget about the third world, I can’t believe she snogged him!!

The funny thing about this whole ‘Rob’ situation is that after not seeing each other for a fair few years, me and this guy actually became good friends when we were at college together and would occasionally reminisce over a beer that I once fell into […]

Year 9: new year, new romance… and a friendly reminder to warn your kids about creeps on the internet

Year 9: new year, new romance… and a friendly reminder to warn your kids about creeps on the internet

3rd Sept Post Alfest (which, by the way, is a small, local festival in the town of Galhampton where South Somerset youths and adults alike gather to watch local bands and drink large amounts of cider, usually in the pouring rain)  Wow, ages since I […]

Can’t believe they kissed, with TONGUES!

Can’t believe they kissed, with TONGUES!

Just for context, me and Louise both had family involved in our school Zambia exchange and so had met the visiting students a couple of times, and of course were driiiinking up all the male attention. You can definitely tell I was halfway through reading […]

Marissa was JUST getting her life back on track

Marissa was JUST getting her life back on track

When I see kids off their little barnets at free parties these days, pretending that they actually like gabber and wearing hi-vis vests as a fashion statement for some fucking reason, I think back to my youth when drinking one beer in a tent and […]

Gay, confused and too many dudes

Gay, confused and too many dudes

‘The witch bisexual’ was the name I came up with for my autobiography I would write when I was inevitably famous. At 13 I developed a crush on one of my girl friends, which I only ever told one of my friends at school about […]

‘To hurt others is simply a blow to your personality’

‘To hurt others is simply a blow to your personality’

Do forums still have a chatrooms? I spent a LOT of time on forums, especially Muse related forums and their chatrooms. These were the days before social media people, even Bebo hasn’t been invented yet! I have long learnt not to get involved in talking […]

Teachers suck their parts!

Teachers suck their parts!

So on reading these diaries I can definitely see why I was thought of as somewhat precocious by some of my teachers. However, my form tutor had a seriously big gripe against me and I ended up in a meeting with my head of year […]