An unapologetic, unabridged recounting of my awkward teenage diaries

Forget about the third world, I can’t believe she snogged him!!

The funny thing about this whole ‘Rob’ situation is that after not seeing each other for a fair few years, me and this guy actually became good friends when we were at college together and would occasionally reminisce over a beer that I once fell into his hot tub at 13. Though we don’t speak any more, if you’re reading this dude, I hope you find it amusing how much I agonised over you all those years ago. 

13th Sept

Oh God, am gibbering wreck! Meeting Rob tomorrow and all at once I have to tell Dad and let Rob look at me close up, which I tried in the mirror, not good look. STUPID STUPID MOLES! Come on guys, look nice for me tomorrow! Ahh! Still if he does still think I’m pretty, awesome.

14th Sept

Typically my period felt the need to start today! Luckily Mrs Tampon invented tampons to allow me into Rob’s jacuzzi (!). Well from when I walked in we mouthed our hellos then I played (my Dad refused to let me go til I’d done enough playing. Then we walked back to his house, occasionally talking. Was soo awkward at first, not talking much. But eventually we relaxed and talked casually in the hot tub (which if you put on the red light it looks like there’s blood everywhere). Unfortunately even though he moved closer and closer nothing happened and I can only wait ’til next time. Seems a waste when all I wanted to do this week is kiss him, or even hug him, but no. I’ll have to write something and leave it on his blackboard next time. However it was sooo embarrassing because of course I fell in the jacuzzi didn’t I? Soo stupid. Such an idiot! Can’t wait to see him again.

15th Sept

Rob told me tonight that he was sorry he didn’t do anything but the time never came and he wasnt sure if I wanted to. Now I have to wait two weeks to see him! All his weekends are full up!

I wrote a limerick for music:

There was a young lady called Livi

Who fell into the jacuzzi

She broke off the wall

And looked a right fool

How could she be so clumsy!

19th September

Literally none of this makes any sense, at all… Sorry.

Teenage life is hard. Yes, it is. Adults always go on but how we’re all selfish coz of the people starving and we worry about weight and appearance and that. They have a point there but when it’s something like this incredibly nasty situation with Emily, Louise and Steve, you try to put the poor, 3rd world countries out your head for 5 mins to get everything into proportion.

I mean, how could Louise snog Steve when she knows how much Emily likes him?!

It was so horrible when me and Jenny both knew Steve only wanted to be friends with Emily + she thought she had a chance + we couldn’t tell her coz she’d be mortified but we couldn’t not tell her in a way coz she liked him more + got false hopes. And then Louise has to go and fucking snog Steve! I worry about her sometimes, she can’t handle her drink so she gets pissed easily and then goes and does something like this! + then Emily had to go to a funeral today. Luckily she’s OK with the whole Louise/Steve snog but we can’t talk to her because we’re not supposed to know! When I see Steve he is getting kickass Livi style (either slow + weary or firey + sudden, depending on if we’re alone or not, firey + sudden if we are). I’m  having an argument with him in my head.

And now I’m bloody confused as to whether I actually like Rob enough to share my first with him!


20th Sept

OK, so Emily is OK with the whole thing + we’re now plotting revenge but tonight I was like ‘how did the horn drawing go?’ (coz we were gonna draw devil horns on Steve’s presidential team photos) to both of them and they had ‘no idea’ what I was on about! Louise was going, ‘soz have to sort things out with Steve’. Sort things out?! Whatever happened to our plans? Hmm? This all sucks! It’s like, I dunno. And now Louise thinks it’s funny that I can’t go, or don’t want to go to Germany coz she’s not going now, even though she wanted to! Jenny knew Emily knew we knew + when I knew I told her but she knew but never told me so I had to mince my words for a bit! I really just wanna not go to school tomorrow. I feel so stuck in the middle again, I hate it.

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