An unapologetic, unabridged recounting of my awkward teenage diaries

Gay, confused and too many dudes

‘The witch bisexual’ was the name I came up with for my autobiography I would write when I was inevitably famous. At 13 I developed a crush on one of my girl friends, which I only ever told one of my friends at school about at the time. I’ve found it pretty fun watching this confusion unfold throughout my diaries, especially on pages where it’s mentioned and I’ve then obviously gone back at a later date and scribbled over it like ‘no I’m straight, I AM STRAIGHT!’ But how was young, pure, me to know the advantage of pansexuality allowing you to hook up with like, literally anyone who is willing? 

And yes I did include a note at the bottom of the page that a new pope had been selected, because it’s IMPORTANT. 

Point and news bulletin 29/4/2005- NEW POPE

(The pages preceding this entry contain several days worth of food consumption entries)

Maybe I’m taking my diet too far, writing it all down. But I just want to see if I should congratulate or hit myself . Anyway more importantly

1: Joe is fabby- he’s SO sweet and witty + kind + funny. Shame he’s 16. (think this was someone I was talking to on a forum)

2: Ok this is REALLY private but I’m kinda confused cus I think I might be bisexual but Im not sure

3: I’m gonna be Wiccan. At first I thought it was all like spells and stuff, but actually it’s BETTER! It’s all environmentally friendly and anti-homophobe and people friendly and stuff. It will be hard but I’ll try. I’ll be like- well Sikhs have Khalsa who are all rule follower, really religious sikhs and normal sikhs, I’m like a normal ‘atheistic wiccan’ (not a thing dude)

Something WOW happened! I was just staring at the egg tree things and I got them to swing! It was hard to describe the feeling but WEEE! (sorry young me, that was just the radiator)

********* I <3 Paul *************

SHIT! Why are all the decent boys older than me by 3 years? Lemme go from the start.

Jenny finally gave me Joes msn and today, after the Joyces left, he put webby on. He’s so cute! He’s got great inner qualities as well + a fabby sense of humour. However he is 16- argh!

2- a 🙂 🙁 point, my dad has a friend with a v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v. cute son. He is gorgeous, so my type. 🙂 The 🙁 I will probably never see him again unless when m.d.f (??) brings him when she brings our stuff back on sat. Please! I have a routine planned, make up and sexy smile needed. 

3- Had a great dream. There were 3 guys + me + 1 of them really got on and every1 thought I would pick one of them but I chose this other guy + we got on fab + all over each other other + we were just about to kiss when Dad came in so we held hands instead. But this is when it gets bad, he turned into James! And so I went to find out what had happened to the other guys only to find that I’d never see them again! (Jesus christ this dream is like every failed relationship I have ever had) Anyway the guy I chose looked like Paul who is mixed with some other people + I told Paul and oh god now I think I love him! I think he likes me too 2 but just coz he thinks I’m ‘hot’. I dunno ARGH so confused! He lives far away 2 I think. But when I said bye he said xxxxxxx + *many hugs* so I dunno. But y duz he have to be 15. I wish I was 14 sumx. 


OMG! Paul said I wish I could hug u 4eva + never let go + he also said he wishes we were closer! I’m real nervous tho coz I text him and he neva txt back. I hope he will soon….

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